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Post by goodgrief on Dec 1, 2016 12:16:06 GMT -5
Clean Dishes with Coldwater: A MUST READ! Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan ..
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,
'Are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replied,
'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers.
Again, John was concerned about the plates,as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,
'Are you sure these plates are clean?'
Without looking up the old man said,
'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.
John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!
'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'
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tac10
Full Member
Posts: 225
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Post by tac10 on Dec 5, 2016 12:13:54 GMT -5
I went to a bar last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, “Good legs.”; The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”; I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”;
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Post by goodgrief on Dec 5, 2016 12:24:41 GMT -5
40 years of marriage.
A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married
couple and for being loving to each other for
all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world
with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two
tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her
hands.
The husband thought for a moment:
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an
opportunity like this will never come again. I'm
sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30
years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed,
but a wish is a wish.!
So the fairy waved her magic wand and
poof!...
The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful bastards should
remember fairies are female .....
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tac10
Full Member
Posts: 225
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Post by tac10 on Dec 7, 2016 11:24:42 GMT -5
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
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Post by pegbundy on Dec 9, 2016 23:58:28 GMT -5
Why did NASCAR outlaw the Polish victory lap.... Because it was interfering with Michael Waltrip finishing the race!
Q. Give an Example of Gross Ignorance. A. 144 Waltrip Fans
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Post by goodgrief on Dec 21, 2016 11:38:46 GMT -5
Adults only NUDE MRS. SANTA ----- Scroll down to see the nude Mrs. Santa
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * For crying out loud. Act your age. There is no Santa !
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Post by 221dayton on Dec 27, 2016 11:23:11 GMT -5
With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my family & friends about drinking and driving. As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.
Well, three days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails, followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly, I still had the sense to know that I may be over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before...I took a cab home!
Sure enough, on the way home, there was a police road block, but since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was a real relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
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Post by Yogisd1 on Dec 28, 2016 13:17:54 GMT -5
I always get a good laugh out of that one.
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Post by 221dayton on Dec 30, 2016 10:22:02 GMT -5
Me too.
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tac10
Full Member
Posts: 225
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Post by tac10 on Jan 2, 2017 13:35:42 GMT -5
First President Trump Joke A large earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. Iraq, Iran and Syria were totally ruined and the governments asked for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world was in shock. Great Britain sent troops to help keep the peace. Saudi Arabia sent oil and monetary assistance. Latin American countries sent clothing. New Zealand and Australia sent sheep, cattle and food crops. The Asian countries sent labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure. Canada sent medical teams and supplies. The new American President, Donald Trump, not to be outdone, sent two million replacement Muslim
God Bless President Trump!
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Post by goodgrief on Jan 11, 2017 11:50:10 GMT -5
An elderly couplehad dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.. The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
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Post by Gant fan on Jan 30, 2017 12:22:07 GMT -5
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
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Post by Gant fan on Jan 31, 2017 13:29:18 GMT -5
THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
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Post by Hidden on Feb 2, 2017 13:15:06 GMT -5
Blond Question.
Girl One: My boyfriend has dandruff
Girl Two: You should give him Head and Shoulders.
Girl One: How do you give Shoulders?
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Post by searchers on Feb 4, 2017 13:23:44 GMT -5
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
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